Let's learn how to hold our tender hearts so we can help usher in more love.
The Midnight Sun
The manic energy of Alaska's summer teaches you how to surrender into that which you cannot change.
A funny thing happened on my way to New Jersey. I went to Alaska.
The Good Life
One of the great men of my life, Julius Rockwell Jr. taught me that the good life is the only one to live.
Take me. I'm yours.
Make this your own holy week by releasing those old core beliefs that keep us stuck, unhappy and broke.
The Way Home
As we turn away from the world that our senses tell us is real, we find ourselves at the doorway of the only thing that's real and true.
We Take Care of Our Own
Could there really be a better gift to give than ourselves and the love that's inside?
The Holy Days
Turning inward is the greatest gift we can give ourselves and others.
The preciousness of this trip is almost more than I can hold and yet that's exactly what it's asking me to do.
Fall On Me
I loved the sound the rake would make as it gathered the leaves between it’s plastic fingers, a nearly silent ritual that brought us outside and into the change of seasons.
As I approach the one year mark from leaving Alaska for this creative sabbatical, there are only a few words that come to mind and heart.
My awakening Spirit is rocking my world!
Bringing It All Back Home
Sometimes, the power of now is how it takes you back.
Learn to Be Still
It's a humbling practice, sitting still and allowing oneself to feel the painful consequences of a choice. Turns out, that's the only way out.
Love the One You're With
Missing my father on his birthday, my heart opens to who is here.
|"How come my heart feels cracked open? When the love is running deep? Someday we all will cross over. Maybe right now is all we'll ever be." Arthur Lee Land, "Cracked Open"|
There's a tremendous amount of energy moving today. Are you feeling it? My heart cracked open without warning on the drive back home. I know now that it's not about pushing it down or denying it or wishing it wasn't happening. None of that can or does stop it from erupting. It's about opening up to it even if you're driving. It's about making it ok. It's about allowing.
It's messy, like birth. Heart contractions squeezing out the pain that's ready to be released so as to make more room for Love. Like waves, I wait for the next one. It crashes at my feet with the release of all the sorrow, the yearning and the raw sensation of being fearless in the face of the unknown. This is the tender heart. It's mine. It's yours. It's ours.
And then, it's over. The alchemist's work is complete. Love rushes in to fill the cracks.
The Midnight Sun
“She is free in her wildness, she is a wanderess, a drop of free water. She knows nothing of borders and cares nothing for rules or customs. 'Time' for her isn’t something to fight against. Her life flows clean, with passion, like fresh water.” Roman Payne
Surrender is letting go of trying to sleep or thinking I must sleep. Two Calm Forte and I'm up. That friction between what is and what should be is called stress which of course keeps me up. So I've turned my laptop back on to say so. I surrender.
But it's deeper than that. True surrender tonight. What made it true? I could feel it, I can feel it still, the vibrational quality of surrender moving through me like liquid as I give myself permission to be awake.
Sleep will come. It always does just not on my time. Meanwhile it inspired me to write about my letting go. That letting go sensation of release.
Alaska demands us to give in to her power, to surrender, to go with what is and step into the light of day and in this case the night as well.
The Last Frontier, Indeed.
The pull north was undeniable. In Seattle for two weeks, Anchorage was truly a stone's throw away. Looking back across the map to New Jersey and back up to Alaska, I realized that, though a decision that unnerved me a bit, I was going North.
I came in under the radar as they say or at least that's what I tell myself. Needed to sling into town, have a few minutes, days with her before opening myself up to it all.
I'm as suprised as anyone that this Jersey girl found her soul here, the great land. It's hard not to. The immensity of Alaska never wears; it's majestic beauty boldly in your face no matter how many buildings they erect.
A few days in, I've realized that, yet again, things are different. I'm different. We're different. Clearly I need to just keep my ear to the ground and listen.
The Good Life
This is a picture of Julius and I on October 13, 2013. My tribe hosted a going away party for me and it was an emotional and memorable night. I have often been the one hosting or saying goodbye so to be on the receiving end of such love was truly overwhelming.
Julius' passing yesterday reminded me of what I already know which is that community is key to the good life. However it is that we become entangled in each other's lives forever tethers us to one another in ways inexplicable until death or departures or milestone birthdays that remind us life is finite.
I want to say I've known Julius for nearly 20 years, finding each other through the poetry slams and other art events that drew us together. It wasn't long before I realized that he was a historian, carrying within himself thousands of words that observed everything from war, the birth of Alaska, the spawning of salmon, the artist's journey and field notes from walking the Alaska Pipeline route before anything was built! When he told me about this years ago I was flabergasted! I sat riveted by the crackling fire as dusk fell upon the endless summer day, wine in our glass, an audience of one as Julius' mesmerized me with images of the last frontier.
Julius was a true cassanova who had indeed mastered the art of attracting women into his life. At 90, he told me about the many women in their 80's who were trying to hook up with him. "Too old for me," he said seriously. "I prefer the young ones!" Of course he did. His spirit was forever young and his zest for living the good life demanded women with an equal passion for life, the arts, dressing up for the opera or meeting his friends at the Sunday BBQ. And oh, those kisses!
I knew when I left Alaska that fall October day it could very well be the last time I saw Julius. My heart tugged at the sacrifice I was making to answer the call of my soul to set out for unknown adventures. Turns out, there have been many tugs, sometimes too many to make this now nearly nineteen month sabbatical questionable. Still, my soul tugs hardest and I know that I must honor it though I wish it would hurry up and show me where we're going and why!
A friend wrote on her Facebook page yesterday, "I wish everyone I loved lived in the same place!" I knew exactly what she was saying, these irreconcilable distances that scatter us and leave the heart yearning for connection. Fortunately, love is eternal and I truly believe these connections string us along for eons, forever dipping us in and out of the stardust we're made of as we journey along from one plane to the next.
I'll see you then Julius. Save a wet kiss for me.
Take me. I'm yours.
It's a perfect time for a spiritual crisis; it is, afterall, holy week and the son of god is not the only one who is about to resurrect. We all have the opportunity right now, to die to what no longer serves us and to resurrect our true nature. We can, right now, release from our minds and hearts all those limiting core beliefs that we've absorbed along the way that have kept us small, broke and unhappy. But how?
Spiritual Practices. I've always been and remain a student of the very education I've compiled in my new course, "Gain Strength & Clarity Using Spiritual Practices". On the heels of unleashing my first online class to the world, I find myself looking at a completely emptied life. I've given everything I have in body, mind and spirit to gather up the best education I've received over the years and turn it into online courses for all of humanity. I know these principles and practices work and I just want to share this information with as many people as possible.
In doing so, I've used all my finances and delayed getting a job in order to get it done. In the back of my mind, I assumed (uh oh) I'd get another tax return and that would float me. Imagine my suprise when I found out I wasn't get a return! The first time in 20 years!
What happened right after receiving that news is a sign to me that these practices and the principles upon which they are built work when you work them. Having been on the precipice of the illusion of lack and limitation before, I knew how I handled this moment in the past: panic, fear, desperation and the need to control and manage my outer life in hopes that it would be enough to get me through. This time though, I was unwilling to accept that fate. It became a powerful night of transformation as I called upon my future self and said, "Come get me. I'm ready."
As I unleash my new course into the world, I realize that it's completely out of my hands now. I've done what was mine to do and now I send it out with all the love I can muster for such an amazing teaching. It is my deepest desire that this education helps others like it has me. Now, I turn towards that which I teach, meditation, prayer, visioning and a grateful heart, knowing that the unseen laws that those practices activate and align me with are my answers.
I marvel at the technology that continues to "connect" us, turns our homes and cars "smart" and even does our shopping for us. But it's not the outer world where we need the most connection. It's our inner world where we find outselves the most disconnected. It's the place within our heart that calls us home, that place deep in our minds that yearns for stillness, that place we call our soul that craves our attention. You can, right now resurrect yourself from the distractions of life, turn towards all three and say, "Take me. I'm yours.".