What the True Self understands with compassion is that integration of one's self is both of the ego and of the divine.
Integration is the theme of my rebirth, which is manifesting itself through the preparation of the launch of the next chapter of my creative life. This media project is not only multi-pronged in its expressions but also in its impressions. I've reconnected with both my strengths and my weaknesses in profound ways. Instead of condemning myself, I've learned to hold my tender heart. I've learned how to stand with and for myself, how to ask for what I need and want. I've strengthened my relationship to my inner voice and committed to following it, trusting that it knows. More than anything, I know who I am now. I know what my gifts and talents are and I know there's more yet to be revealed.
I've learned from my walk through the valley of death that I have been attached, like so many of us, to the illusion of permanency. Nothing has brought that home for me more so this week than with the losses that have washed away in my beloved home state of New Jersey and it's shoreline. Three years ago, the loss of my father, my relationship, my business partner, my dog and my job in an eight month period, was indeed Hurricane Camille leaving nothing in it's path but ghosts, shadows and smoldering ruins of who I was, who I had known myself to be - daughter, mother, partner, broadcaster. Attached to titles and roles, I began hearing in the echoes of my emptiness the soul voice of my true nature. With time, I began to remember. I learned how to stretch the canvas of my mind, my heart, my consciousness, my life wide enough to include it all, the human and the divine, the old and the new, the known and unknown, the sorrow and the permission to feel joy again, the losses and the willingness to live again, the death of the life I knew and the courage to dream again.
Many of us are going through this DNA restructuring. That's why this time is so powerful because the shifts are happening at the cellular level. As the great James Mellon says, we're remembering that we're hard wired for Truth, remembering our DivineNatural Authority. The process of clearing the layers is intense and in the end, it's a solo walk like any birth or death.Though many are on the path, it's a journey you can only take by yourself yet, paradoxically, we need each other to get there.
As I approach the launch pad, the integration of Camille and CC remains unfinished for me internally. For the past twenty five years, my creative life has been under the name, identity and persona CC, that's what I've called myself, that's how people have known me. Even though the messages became clearer and clearer this year that it was time for Camille to arise, I realized that I was at odds with myself. I've been trying all year to integrate the two and it's still not natural. It's the oddest thing and at times, unbearably comical! "If I call it the Camille Conte show can I still say I'm CC?" "Will it be too confusing for people?" "Even for the few people who know me by both names it's confusing, "Should I call you CC or Camille?!!"
What the True Self understands with compassion is that integration of one's self is both of the ego and of the divine. In the end, I'm not Camille or CC. I am the Great I AM and It doesn't care what I call It just so long as I call It, call It forth with such courage, passion and desire that It pierces all veils of separation and leads the way for others to do the same. As it states in the Messiah's Handbook in Richard Bach's great book, Illusions, "The original sin is to limit the Is. Don't." I knew at eighteen that I was reading something of insurmountable importance. I felt its importance in my bones long before I could understood it in my mind and heart. The teaching in that sentence has pushed itself up against me all these years waiting for that ripe moment of revelation. Today, I understand what he was saying but wisdom without action is only knowledge. Guess I'll just keep leaning in until the two become One.