The Midnight Sun
The Good Life
Take me. I'm yours.
The Way Home
We Take Care of Our Own
The Holy Days
Fall On Me
Bringing It All Back Home
Learn to Be Still
Love the One You're With
|There's something necessary to my growth and evolution in leaving the familiar and moving myself towards the mystery. Even more true, it’s allowing the mystery of life to move towards me, trusting it.|
Today I left Portland and headed towards Boise.
I am already blessed with new friends I've not met yet because of my beloved soul sister, Rachel. Even still, I noticed resistance to leaving, wanting to stay on in Oregon, a state I have come to love. Underneath that, nervousness about leaving the familiar and heading towards the unknown that awaits within the thousands of miles in front of me as I turn east. Underneath that, more layers of concern as the enormity of this trip begins to take root in my mind.
With tears rolling down my cheeks last night, I realized the symbolism of this moment to and for my life. There's something necessary for my growth and evolution in leaving the familiar and moving myself towards the mystery. Even more true, it’s allowing the mystery of life to move towards me, letting it in and trusting it. The subtlety between uncertainty and mystery is profound. Uncertainty means I don’t know the source and therefore can't trust it. I know my Source, I trust It implicitly, It breathes me every night and is my heartbeat. This trip is filled with mystery not uncertainty. The mystery is that space between It knowing and me knowing. Such a distinction reveals my relationsihp to the Beloved and I find myself understanding what Rumi was saying with his words.
This is how I know that this low lying hum of anxiousness comes from a false thought in my mind. Rearranging my thinking (prayer) and centering it on Truth is the weight that strengthens my mind and calms me. Prayer aligns what I know in my heart with what I know in my head.
Here in Baker City, I rest. I have come to stand with myself completely, unconditionally and instantly. Though I had hoped to make it to Boise tonight, at 4:30 pm I heard my mind, body and heart say, “stop”. So I did. So much life and love has poured through me these last 15 days, I’m overflowing with experiences. Kindness, generosity, encouragement, food and rest have been bestowed upon me. I need a night for ritual to give thanks and to pray myself into a peace filled slumber.