The Midnight Sun
The Good Life
Take me. I'm yours.
The Way Home
We Take Care of Our Own
The Holy Days
Fall On Me
Bringing It All Back Home
Learn to Be Still
Love the One You're With
Out of sight, out of mind. That old saying is having its way with me and it doesn't feel good. My mind is gathering evidence and building its case.
I left Anchorage October 28, just shy of two months now, and I find few close friends calling to say hello. When I think that, I have these mini pity parties fueled by my mind’s warped perception that teeters on reality and it doesn’t feel good.
Then, fortunately, that inner wise one, reminds me that I talk about love and wanting to be the vibration of love and if that’s the case, let love lead the way. I realize what it’s showing me. Instead of waiting for this person to call me and prove they love me, I must call them and say “I love you”.
But still, I can feel the pull of separation. Feeling unloved and forgotten is bringing a lot of people down these days. It’s the irony of our times to be so wired for connectivity and yet feel so isolated. There’s also fear. Fear of being unimportant, not wanted or needed.
And the phone call weighs in as a mighty indicator of whether or not one is loved, missed, cared about, interesting and someone we cherish and choose. I look out and ask, “Who is it that said they’d stay in touch?” “Are they?” Love never asks those questions.
And of course I have to include myself in that questioning and I do. The answer swings me out of victim and into love, out of needing and into giving, out of “you're my source” to “I AM sourced”.
And what if friendships went silent, were paused, ended? Can I still live in the empty space and love?
I have a high value when it comes to friendships. They take mindful nurturing. Facebook does not nurture a friendship. “I’m busy” does not nurture relationships. Connection comes from communion and community and both of those come from time spent together.
And so, this need for someone to call me and ask how I’m doing, how far back does that one go? Why do I need that - to receive it versus initiate it?
I could ponder it until I have answers but answers aren’t necessary for my growth. Maturity is. Love’s only impulse is to give.
The Gemini full moon is offering us a lot of support right now to release what no longer serves us, to clear old thought patterns that restrict and constrict us, to clear the energetic slate so as to be truly here now. Writing this, is helping me do that right now, as I’m becoming clear as to who it is I want to be today and what that takes mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
The ability to still feel connected even when you’re alone seems to be of prime importance. That’s a practice. Clearly, there’s lots of opportunities to practice.