The Midnight Sun
The Good Life
Take me. I'm yours.
The Way Home
We Take Care of Our Own
The Holy Days
Fall On Me
Bringing It All Back Home
Learn to Be Still
Love the One You're With
|"Nobody can go back and start over. But anyone can start today and make a new ending." Jared Leto|
I'm doing some soul work while away and one of the processes I'm working with is helping me identify my core desired feelings. These are words that make me feel empowered, uplifted and expanded, words that orient my energy and motivate my spirit.
It's been a deep ride inward, freeing myself to identify what is and what isn't working in five key areas of my life : livelihood & lifestyle, body & wellness, relationship & society, essence & spirituality.
In the process, I've come to realize how important is it to give myself permission to do this type of self reflection. I've also realized that I've been using my feelings as a compass since I was very young. Bruce Springsteen summed it up for me in a documentary he recently did in which he talked about his youth and said, “I didn't have experience but I had instinct.” Oh, I could so relate to that! Today the word “instinct’ is more often replaced with “intuition” though for me the two overlap. They share a commonality in that each is first identified, tested, strengthened and ultimately serves as the core compass, my inner G. P. S. or “Goddess Pointing me in the right direction System"!
As I move with these questions that act like a giant ladle stirring up the sediment at the bottom of my heart, I realize I have done this work before. In 2011, as I began to emerge from the chrysallis, I asked myself, “what brings you joy?”. For many years, I encouraged my listeners to ask themselves but never really myself. Turns out, it was a tremendous question for me because I had been so sad for so long I didn't know joy could be a permanent feeling. Oh, sure, I had bouts of joy but a core feeling? I just didn't think that I was one of those people. Sadness had been a low murmur most of my life, pulsating just underneath the skin of my days, incognito yet influencial. I was unconsious to that truth for quite some time.
I go back every week to those pages that hold my answers because they represent my life line, my soul's life preserver. I marvel at what came out of me, a declaration, if you will, of why I’m here. It’s truly some of the most sacred work I’ve ever done. I hope you'll ask yourself that question as well. Your answers matter.
Now, today, two years later, I’m digging deep once again to see if my resurrection has activated anything new that perhaps was dormant and suffocated by my losses.
It’s definitely the work of the heart. I always know when my mind has taken over because the words reflect outer validation. The ego is super sensitive! Mine wanted to pick the “right” words, the “cool” words, the ones everyone else would have! You can always tell it’s the mind when the question begins with, “what if...”.
This morning I’ve come to a list of six words after using the dictionary and thesaurus last night. It was a fascinating process. There will be more weeding, however, as the suggested list is four words representing the north, south, east and west of my compass.
One word I know for sure will make it to the finals. Yep. Joy.