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I'm Only Human

3/24/2014

These last 48 hours have been of another world. A ten hour, overnight flight back to New Jersey became a sleepless night into a day that was already six hours ahead of me. By midnight, I had ingested ten mgs of melatonin and two Calm Forte sleep aid tablets. I was completely wired yet I had no real energy but my mind was on Honolulu time so it just wanted to go, go, go! 

It’s revealing to me that I would commit myself to starting this new voice gig with Umano one day after returning. I had initially thought I flew in on Monday, which would have given me a day and a half before starting but instead I had less than 24 hours. Waking up at 11:45 am put me behind my intention to be working with the scripts by 9:00 am. Crazy how we demand of ourselves that which we can’t match. Had I not been so eager to please, I would have taken several more days to center in before beginning such a commitment. A lesson well learned.

For the past 25 years of voicing commercials, there’s always been at least one person in the booth giving me directives.  Sometimes two people, the client and the engineer/producer would be telling me to go slower, go faster, say it this way, no this way, take after take after take. With Umano, I’m getting scripts up to six minutes long with no direction whatsoever! It’s a total game changer and it has me turned upside down when I turn on the microphone and begin the read.

I was utterly thrown by one of the reads which became a very popular song in 1999 called, “Everyone is Free to Wear Sunscreen”. It took some time before I allowed myself to make it my own.  I was so concerned with “doing it right”, seeking approval, wanting to be “liked”, comparing and despairing, I'm not really sure I ever did make it my own. 

In that moment, I had to decide whether or not I believed in myself. After all, they did. They asked me to join the team of narrators and gave me the greatest compliment when doing so, the kind of feedback that cements that this is indeed a demonstration of that which I have been calling in for quite some time now. But I was so caught up in validation from the outer world, that I never did quite settle in to that place of confidence and assurance about who I am and what I do.  

Eventually time pressed me to go with a take for each script and upload it for them to publish. I’ve only gone back once to see how many have read it and whether anyone has posted a comment and of course, the likes. How humbling it is to start something new, to put myself out there like this while feeling this vulnerable.

I realize tonight that the energy of competition is so pervasive in our society that being in a group of 40 plus narrators triggered all sorts of low vibration attributes of separation including the big two, comparison and jealousy. It’s very old energy that represents a paradigm that is falling away to something new. 

The new is a world that works for everyone. It’s exactly the world I want to live in, where there is enough for everyone, where everyone matters and is needed, where there is collaboration and shared ideas, where everyone’s sights are set on the same uplifting intention. This is Umano!

Seems like this wonderful opportunity has afforded me the chance to further release any and all energy that is not in alignment with my core desired feelings, to cut myself free from any lingering attachment to those collective beliefs that keep us separate from ourselves and each other.  And to think, I thought I was just doing some more voice work. 

 

Entertainer - Radio Personality - Inspirational Speaker - Voice Over Talent : Camille Conte marconi award winner
 National Association of Broadcasters "Personality of the Year" Marconi Award Winner!

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