The Midnight Sun
The Good Life
Take me. I'm yours.
The Way Home
We Take Care of Our Own
The Holy Days
Fall On Me
Bringing It All Back Home
Learn to Be Still
Love the One You're With
|"Simply put, if you've been operating in the dark, there is now enough light to see that the patient on the operating table is yourself." The Book of Runes and the Rune Growth.|
Long after I published my last post, my practice of allowing took me deeper into the darkness before I was able to experience more of the Light, as well as a lightness of being. Healing for me often times consists of diving down into my subconscious, bringing up to the surface a hidden “treasure” found in its depths, facing it, releasing it, only to dive back in again for whatever awaits me next. This “diving down” happens with different practices - meditation, prayer, contemplation, the Zen I experience riding my bike and conversations with good friends who are willing to listen and reflect honestly what they’re hearing me say.
Eckhart Tollie calls the accumulation of old emotional pain that almost all people carry in their energy field the “pain body”. I came to realize that though something was happening in the present moment, it had activated a pain body lodged in my “energy field” a long time ago. It got my attention in a big way and I began to dive down to meet it with the hopes of bringing this massive, dense and heavy weight to the surface of my consciousness where it could undergo its transmutation.
Last night, I was guided to go for a walk and remembered there is a paved trail through a soccer field just two blocks away. I began walking on this circular path for nearly two hours, talking out loud, processing all that was churning within. My Spirit was right there, as It always is, talking back to me, revealing through my consciousness insights that were extraordinary. It was as if the curtain had been drawn back and I was peering into a depth of understanding that went beyond words, that bypassed my mind and went straight to my heart, the real brain in the body with its own language, it’s own knowingness, the seat of Love itself.
The most profound realization I experienced was becoming fully aware that this unhealed pain from my past is thirty years old. It was during the summer of 1984 that I took off for an adventure that became a turning point in my life. In this flash of insight, when time vanished from my senses and I was suspended in a different dimension, I was shown my twenty two year young self. Initially startled, I was surprised at the calm that followed. I found a bench and we sat down, quiet for a long time. Then she began to speak to me. She had a lot to say.
Many years ago, I was gifted with a guided meditation in which I help people find their scattered selves and integrate them back into their hearts. It’s a very profound, powerful and effective experience that I’ve shared with many people. Clearly, it was my turn and so I began the process.
The sun was setting as I walked towards my sister’s house, in awe of what had just happened. For all that I have believed to know about this sabbatical, I’m only now, ten months in, starting to deeply understand that more than just my family has been waiting for me to come back. Turns out my twenty two year young self has been waiting for me all this time too, to come get her and bring her home.